Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
