College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
