can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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