id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
