No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
