I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
