I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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