Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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