Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
