woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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