After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
