you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
