wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
