My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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