You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
