just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
