i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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