His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
