R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
