Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who died my cat blue again?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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