Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
