Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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