mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize