I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
