this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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