Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
