So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
