Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
