Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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