i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
