I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
