how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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