you would pick up someone in the library
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
