last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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