I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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