I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
