all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
