My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
try to milk me bitch
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
