does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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