i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
