names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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