im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
