You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
