living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
