just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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