i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just puked most of my soul out..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
