I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
