problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
