Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
