I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize