Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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