I am in a vortex of obligation.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
