Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
