And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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