I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You are the jesus of drinking
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
