oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The struggles of a small town man whore
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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