im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you will always have a special place in my vag
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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