im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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