so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
