I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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