she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
