My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
