This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
