Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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