Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
