ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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