Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize