Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
