Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize