Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My ATM looks so different sober.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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