Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
